Fili, Kili and Tili?
by Thor Odinson
Summary: AU. Thorin, Fili and Kili didn't die in The Battle of the Five Armies and now the company are visiting Bilbo in The Shire, but Kili bumps into somebody unexpected... Leading Kili to play the older brother and to a fight long forgotten. Abandoned sorry
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Thorin, Fili and Kili didn't die in The Battle of the Five Armies and now the company are visiting Bilbo in The Shire, but Kili bumps into somebody unexpected.. Humor(I hope) and Angst and Hurt/Comfort and Family**

**Disclaimer: I obviously am not Tolkin, and am not claiming on any of the recognisable characters..**

**Authors Note: I hope this turns out right. Words in _Italics_ are Bilbo's (or any other characters') thoughts. Can anyone tell me the word for "the food stock room" ...? and I wrote this like 20 minutes ago and posting it now considering that its going straight from my head to screen with no plans so(well a rough idea).. so if you have an idea, review and it could be in the story! (bribery D:)**

**Oh and a thanks to Hel Lokison for naming the food.**

**Chapter One: Arrival**

Bilbo Baggins, the pre-respectable hobbit with tunnels over-flowing with gold _now, now__, I wouldn't say TUNNELS over-flowing!... A CHEST over-flowing yes... _With a chest over-flowing with gold_ and silver_, and silver was currently a very busy man. Or should I say hobbit? If an on-looker was, well-looking then they might have thought he was a bit odd _oh that'd hardly be the first time!_ He was preparing himself for the arrival of his friends, Throin, Fili, Kili, Balin, Dwalin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Nori, Dori, Ori, Oin and Gloin got that? Good.

_Oh dear oh dear... _Thought Bilbo looking left and right and up and down.

_Oh dear... _He was looking at his food stock , now any other Hobbit might have thought it was well replenished and stocked. But Bilbo had in mind that thirteen inevitably hungry Dwarfs will be coming any day now and he did NOT want a repeat of last time.

So to the market he went, money in pockets and a wheel-barrel, to carry all the food. It was just pasted midday, everyone's had their lunch and are out enjoying the sun. _Ooo there's Himmers' son! Blimy he's grown... Reminds me of that Frodo lad down in Bucklebury. _

The walk to the market was full of "Good morning!" and "Nice to see you Mr Baggins!" and the occasional "Hello Mister Bah-gens" from the younglins. _Oh there's old Himmer himself, a very respectable hobbit in my opinion..._

_I wonder why Gaffer's looking all funny at me this time... _as it were, the old Gaffer was looking a poor Bilbo in such away because, well he didn't really have a reason... he just doesn't approve anything of Bilbo anymore, he can't even tuck his shirt in!

The market was busy _but not as busy as it can be_, pushing the barrel he loaded and paid and now with a wheel-barrel full of;

Broccoli _I'll sneak it in somehow, _

Meat _lovely chicken which tastes like fish...,_

Lemons,

Potatoes for chips,

Oranges,

A tub of onions,

Chilis',

More salt,

More meat,

and a bit more meat,

and candyfloss for good measure.

_Ah that'll do! if they want something else, they can go buy some._ Thought Bilbo.

Pushing the wheel-barrel up hill was a bite bit tricky, poor small Bilbo couldn't see atop or in front of him, waving his arms left and right and giving a wordless shout to let everyone know he's coming, one last push up the hill and Bilbo could finally see his home.

Well, part of his home, after all, it's hard to see your home when there's thirteen Dwarves in the way- _thirteen Dwarves?! _and before Bilbo knew it, he had eight Dwarves running at him! However they stopped short of the wheel-barrel and started going through that instead.

O_f course..._

**_Reviews are welcome! I kinda haven't written anything to go after this so... help? :P Oh and there's no posting days really, just when I write a chapter_**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I obviously am not Tolkin, and am not claiming on any of the original characters.. one or two are mine.**

**Authors Note: If you have an idea tell me and it could be here! Thanks TwinsConspiracy for the Broccoli idea :P I keep on mentioning Himmer but I don't know what role he is going to play in this, so tell me anything :) I wrote this like 30 minutes ago, and if I leave it on my laptop any longer it will never get posted D: so tada (and I made up some years and dates because i'm not sure when Bilbo adopted Frodo)**

**Chapter Two: Off He Goes**

"Hello Bilbo! At your service!" cheered everyone "again!" added Ori

Bilbo smiled, it's been too long, Bilbo is now at 64 years old, it's been 13 years since the adventure. _With every year those blasted sack-ville baggins' at my door step! I really do need to have a word with Frodo, he'd be a nice addition to the house, tough I think I'll wait a bit longer, I don't want he's friends Merry and Tili running around my home! No thank you!... strange one that Tili is... much hairier than the rest... poor soul doesn't remember a thing before he came here-_

_"_Bilbo?" asked Bofur, interrupting he's line of thought.

"Hmmm yes?, oh right!" said Bilbo greeting the others, and soon a very sore forehead

Pushing the now considerably lighter Wheel-barrel, _yea I wonder why! Those pompous Dwarves only left the broccoli! what's wrong with my broccoli?! _up the final slope to the door and let everyone in.

Thorin and Balin and Dori hung their coats up and put their weapons on the racks, and everyone else put their's on an ever-growing pile in the middle of the hallway. _N__ote to self: buy more coat racks._

"So! How was your journey?" asked Bilbo.

"It went better than last time," said Thorin.

"Ah, didn't get 'lost' did we?"

"I did not get lost! ... I just, took a wrong turn."

"Which lead to getting lost."

"... I did not get lost!." said Thorin with and exasperated expression and not appreciating the smug smile on Bilbo's face.

"You said it yourself! 'I lost my way, Twice'."

"... I-I I was looking for an excuse as to why I was late!" argued Thorin

With the smugness growing Bilbo asked "and why were you late?"

"I got...," Thorin sighed "lost."

Bilbo just could not hold back his grin, _I love being right._

By this time Ori, Kili, Bofur and Bombur have taken residence in the kitchen, Fili in the Pantry, Bifur, Dwalin, Nori and Dori in the lounge and Oin and Gloin in the Bathrooms. Which left Thorin, Balin and Bilbo to the hallway.

"It's a fine hallway you have!" exclaimed Balin, the hallway was spotless, that is until they arrived. Now it has foot prints on the floor and finger prints on the walls and a pile of sodden, dirty coats on Bilbo newly cleaned rug.

Bilbo, ignoring the mess and focusing on, anything but the mess and said "Ah well I painted it just last week! All me! Well... a hand or two from Himmer but... mostly me."

The conversation stopped for a moment, so Bilbo tried to get it up again.

"So..." _great way to start a conversation Bilbo, well done._

"So..." replied Balin

"Uh ha..." said Thorin

"Oh erm, how's life from under the mountain now?" asked Bilbo

Thorin opened his mouth to answer but was cut of by "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHH!"

All three heads turned to the kitchen, and Ori's head popped out from behind the door.

"Thorry... I bit miy tong..."

"It's different," Thorin said turning back to the others, " hardly get time of though, this trip will be welcomed indeed."

"Ah, well, you wont be expected to work here! Just relax and... read." said Bilbo

Thorin raised an eyebrow, "Read? I suppose I could..."

"Do you like reading? That adventure of ours had so many stories in them I just had to writing it down!"

"Ooo can I read it laddie?" asked Balin

"Well, I haven't quite finished it yet..."

"How far have you got?" asked Thorin

"... the Title," said Bilbo slouching a little, but straightened himself up again and continued "and a very good title mind you! A Hobbits Tale; There and Back Again! ... what do you think?"

Thorin and Balin nodded their heads,

"I see what you did there, but there is a lot more Dwarf than Hobbit don't you think?" Thorin said "I'm not one for writing things down, I prefer to read or experience... unlike you Bilbo."

"Oh er, thanks."

At this moment Kili came into the hall with stains down his thin under-shirt_ that it not tucked in! how undignified!... _he had something behind his back, and a sheepish smile on his face.

"Hello Kili!" greeted Bilbo quickly tucking his shirt in.

"Hello!..." greeted Kili, he placed an empty jar in Bilbo's hands.

"Kili...did you eat all my Strawberry jam?"

"Kind of." admitted Kili

"HOW?! there's enough for four in that jar! You've been here 15 minutes!"

"I'll go buy some more!" said Kili whizzing of to grab his coat. He came back walking slower and asked

"May I burrow some money?"

"... fine, here," Bilbo handed Kili some money "You'll find some in the market."

So of he went, _he let Fili know of course, always together those two, well, they tend to get separated by food_ Bilbo chuckled, _brothers should never be apart I say, they're family after all._

Five minutes later there was a muffled "Ugh, no!..." Fili came out of the pantry._ With my salted crackers round his mouth might I add!_ Fili had a look of amusement but with a mix of looking at Bilbo as if he just turned purple and asked,

"Did anyone actually tell him the way to the market?"

"..."

"Don't worry, I'll go after him." and before anyone could say anything, Bofur went out the door.

**reviews are welcome :) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I obviously am not Tolkin, and am not claiming on any of the original characters.. one or two are mine.**

**Authors Note: Okay, I've decided on a plot :D But Review if you can, I'm open to options****.**

**Chapter 3: Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Tili**

The market is down the hill and to the left. So naturally Kili went, right and up the hill. Clever one you are. He was just about to turn around realising he went the wrong way when he heard giggling, he stopped and turned and saw four small bushes moving..._okay... that's not ment to happen.. _the leaves rustled and out popped four young hobbits. Aw_ww!_

"Hello there!" said Kili with a smile, as one they came out from hiding and stood there.

"What might your names be? I'm Kili, at your service."

Shuffling their feet, the first on said "... I'm Frodo, this is Merry, Pippin and Tili." pointing to each one in turn.

"It's nice to meet you Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Tili, cool name by the way" said Kili giving Tili a wink. H_mm... he doesn't look quite like a hobbit...? _Tili smiled, for he thought his name was way better than others too.

"Erm, what are you?" asked Pippin a bit more confidant than the rest but still shuffling he's feet awkwardly.

"What am I?- oh, I'm a Dwarf" stated Kili proudly.

"Oh! Kooli the Dwarf!" exclaimed Pippin in excitement.

"No... Kili, not Kooli.."

"Kooli."

"K-I-LI"

"K-O-LI"_ Kooli it is... I suppose that's karma, 'You must be !' ..._

"So, what are you doing out here then?" asked Kili.

"We're playing! My da is visiting a friend and we came along," said Merry with a huge smile "You're strange... why are you tall?... and... hairy?"

"Hay," put in Tili, a bit put off because of his newly growing beard at age 7.

"Erm," stammered Kili, not sure of what to say "well, I am a Dwarf, Dwarves tend to be slightly taller than Hobbits and... hairier.."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Bofur walked out the door, N_ow knowing Kili, he'd have gone in the complete opposite direction. _So right and upwards he went.

"-taller than Hobbits and... hairier..."

Frodo gasped, wide eyed and took a step back "There's two of them!"

Kili turned and was met with Bofur inches from his face, Kili leaning back in turn.

"This is Bofur!" said Kili introducing his friend. Bofur smiled and Pippin said,

"Hello Bofur! Have you met my-our new friend Kooli?!" asked Pippin excitedly.

"Why yes I have, only one or two times." said Bofur giving Kili a wink.

"And who might you be?" Bofur asked addressing the small Hobbits.

"I'm Pippin, this is Frodo, Tili and Merry."

Bofur hid his confusion, _that's not a Hobbit.._

"Hello, I'm Bofur, at your service." Bofur said bowing so low he nearly toppled over only saved by Kili, making the Hobbits laugh.

Bofur, being on to state the obvious just had to point, the obvious out.

"Tili! I couldn't help but notice, young lad that... you don't look very... Hobbit like.." Bofur said looking for the right words, hoping to quench his curiosity.

"That's because he's a Dwarf! According to Himmer that is, he said that he found him!" Merry told them. Tili looked a bit uncomfortable so Bofur let it drop, but he thought... _hmm that's funny, Tili and Kili, Kili and Tili _smiling slightly to himself.

Kili forgot about the strawberry jam. Bofur forgot he set out to get Kili to the strawberry jam, and they spent almost two hours playing I, spy where Kili always gave hints to Frodo and Tili when he got stuck and playing Tag with the young Hobbits, Kili and Tili would be in one team and Bofur and Merry in another and Pippin and Frodo in the last. Of course Kili and Bofur played easy, other wise there might have been a few tears that day. It ended up that Fili and Bilbo had enough waiting, and Dwalin and Bombur happen to want that jam they set out for and are not getting any, but they couldn't find them. That's because they where hiding, in a little nook in the side of a hill.

Merry had Bofur's hat on, and they sat in a circle. After a long conversation about the mountains and life outside The Shire _Bless Frodo, he just can't get enough _it went quite, and Bofur couldn't help himself, so he asked

"Tili... if you don't mind me asking, where were you before you came here?"

"Oh erm... you see i really don't know... Himmer said he found me, I wasn't well, he said he heard shouting, a man calling for me, an angry man... he says it was not nice, he heard another voice calling to a man called.. .Nili, saying he found somthing... but he won't tell me anymore.."

Bofur stared with a furrowed brow, _A Dwarf called Tili, with a father called Nilli... _he looked at Kili, silent words passing.

_'Your father was called Nilli..."_

**Dun Dun Duuun! ;) Reviews are welcome(If you can)**


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